We just got tickets to my favorite amusement park, Screams, in Waxahachie, Texas. Years ago, when we lived nearby, it was easier, but we still make the trip. This year we are going on my birthday! Click on the pumpkin-face I carved to go to the link. Take my advice and pay extra for the speedy pass line shortcut. You’ll want to visit each house more than once.
What’s so great about it? FIVE haunted attractions to visit, with trained actors wearing professional makeup and original costumes. They are very good at catching people off guard just long enough to scare the pants off you then disappear into the dark before another apparition jumps out. Those of you who know me, are laughing because I am an easy mark.
Here’s the best part, my very own daughter grew up and used her artistic skills to learn the monster trade from the ground up. Yes, she started out creeping in the mist and now she is unrecognizable to her own mother, a ghastly deformity, an apparent inhumanity. She wins “Fright of the Night” awards regularly. Over the years her professional acting skills have improved, and she is also getting pretty good at makeup, latex, exquisitely alarming timing, and unnatural gaits. I had wanted her to use her powers for good. But from the moment she gets in character, I can’t tell which of the monsters is her, which undead voice in the dark is an echo of my greatest nightmare.
I’m no Stephen King, my descriptions are just free associating thoughts in run-on sentences trying awkwardly to share the fun of going house to house getting spooked and startled, with a beer and a brat and a wax-dipped rose in between. Fun? Getting scared repeatedly? Yes, it is.
Laugh it off, enjoy the rush of adrenaline. Real life is much scarier.
Besides, my bodyguard can see in the dark, has lightning fast reflexes, loves his steaks very rare – not wooden – and gets a big laugh at me nervously stumbling around in the dark.
Fly into Dallas, get a hotel in Waxahachie, and visit Screams. You might run into me… I’ll be the one running away, screaming.